One of my favorite things about attending music conferences and festivals is the crazy comments that you hear along the way. Here are a few choice selections.
I’m always impressed, and so is my accountant, when someone is able to translate my music.
Richard Thompson on other artists covering his songs.
He wrote a song about tomatoes and people started bringing tomatoes to the show. So I wrote a song about goth chicks.
Corb Lund, referring to Hayes Carll
I’m an evangelical agnostic. I’m excited about it, I just don’t know what it is.
I was in a band with my wife, and all of a sudden I was in a band with my ex-wife.
This will make us huge stars, right? Corb Lund, to sound guy while sound-checking in the CMT Studios
In your own mind you can be anything you want. sound guy’s response
That’s great, don’t coddle the artist. Lund
I’m lucky. Jimmy Buffett recorded [this song] and I bought a Lexis. From the moment that he recorded it until the end of eternity I’m a Parrothead.
Every $ kills a Bieber fan.
Sign on tip jar in a Nashville bar.
What do you think Caitlin, are all men liars? Robert Ellis, to Caitlin Rose
Most of ‘em, unless they make me breakfast. Caitlin’s response
My name is Rod Picott and I’ve written one happy song in my life and I’d like to get it out of the way right now.
Willie gave me advice when I ran for Governor [of Texas] in 2006. If you’re gonna have sex with an animal while running for office, make it a horse. Because if you lose, at least you’ll have a ride home.
When I was a kid and we were bad, we got a whoopin’. Nowadays they just get a time-out. The only time-out I got as a kid was time out for them to whoop my ass.
I always sit on the wrong side of you.
Sara Watkins, on having to perform after Thompson in a songwriters round.
I made sure that I sat on this side.
Jason Isbell, who was sitting so that he would play before Thompson.
Travel safe or at least unobserved.
I usually don’t blaspheme before breakfast.
John Fullbright performing “Gawd Above” during a late morning performance.
I don’t even go anymore. That’s how much I’ve stripped it down.
Anthony De Costa on his streamlined approach to touring.
I said “fuck you,” you said “fuck you” right back. It was like we were in Brooklyn or something.
Mike Mills to Chris Stamey. (Mills was heckling Stamey during Stamey’s showcase the night before)
Not only am I still playing this song, but someone is requesting it. That’s doubly worrying.
Richard Thompson, introducing a ballad written in the 1600s.
Anyone ever been to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan? (cheer from crowd) Bullshit.
Canadian artist Corb Lund
I suspect foul play. Some people just don’t want the fiddle back in country music.
Noam Pikelny of the Punch Brothers, when bandmate Gabe Witcher had a problem with his fiddle
Sorry we were a little late, we were downstairs watching John Hiatt. Wouldn’t kill that guy to write a good song, would it?
Willy Braun of Reckless Kelly
I don’t want to see the palace of fat Elvis. I still have thin Elvis in my mind.
Richard Thompson on why he has never visited Graceland
I’m usually just getting up around this time. But I think I can rock.
75-year old rockabilly queen Wanda Jackson kicking off her 12:30pm show
This is not your father’s tequila, it is your grandfather’s gardener’s tequila.
I suppose I would liken him to a velvet-covered brick.
Wanda Jackson, on working with White.
What’s that? A radio. It’s very. Nice but is this really the time?
Richard Thompson, politely chastising someone whose loud musical ring tone interrupted his set.
‘Cause my father was a preacher and my uncle was a pimp, I’m a people person.
It’s pretty good, but there are no cow songs.
Corb Lund, describing a friend’s reaction to his new album
There’s a category of songs written to yourself to remind yourself not to be an idiot. I hope that I’m not the person in this song but I might be.
The Folk Alliance, it sounds like the weakest alliance around but we’re 2,200 capos strong.
Anthony Da Costa
I’m 67 and I read at the 69 year old level.
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About the author: Mild-mannered corporate executive by day, excitable Twangville denizen by night.