A few times over the years I put together a series of special playlists featuring my favorite kiss off songs. Despite what some may think, I’m really not that cynical. Rather, I just appreciate how some songwriters can tackle the topic with humor and bite. It’s kind of like a genre unto itself.
There have been a bunch of new gems in the time since the last edition so without further ado… adieu!
I Don’t Miss You, Phil Hurley
I don’t miss you now you’re gone.
I thought I would, but I was wrong.
I don’t miss the things you say.
‘Cause, it was it never about anything but you anyway.
It ain’t like I’ll never see you again.
No, I’m not angry. I’ll still be your friend.
They say distance, it makes the heart grow fonder.
Well, let’s just stay apart a little longer.
Fool’s Ride, Kathleen Edwards
Love is blind
Whoever bought that line must be a real sucker
Talk Is Cheap, Mando Saenz
Now you say you wanna talk it over
You’re only talking when the talk is cheap
I ain’t buying your crying on my shoulder
Only when the talk is cheap
Don’t Give a Damn, Ruby Boots
I don’t give a damn
Where you’re at or who you’re with
Who you’re lovin’ or who you kiss
And even less if you’re missing me right now
When I Leave Here, Cory Branan
I give you my love
You put it in a drawer
I said, I give you my love
The fuck you think it’s for?
You bet it’ll hurt
But not as long as it should
For better or worse, I am gone for good
Strip of Light, Patty Griffin
We can talk day and night about who is wrong or right
But the problem is that baby you’re a bore
Know I’ve wasted years where there was no love before
So I won’t waste your time anymore
I Hope He Breaks Your Heart, American Aquarium
So I packed up and I’m movin’ on
Hell I’m tired of writin’ these songs
It seems like I waste all the pretty ones on you
And I hope that he breaks your heart
And I hope you cry all night
And I hope
You feel the way I do now
Broad Street, PJ Bond
The last time I heard from you, I’d grown tired of listening
You said your mother she’d been making jokes and most of them were at my expense
It’s just the same old situation of miscommunication
But frankly I just think you’re being ridiculous
And maybe next time I won’t go and try to wish you the best
So let’s just give it a rest
It started off nice and ended in aggravation
Give me your hand and we’ll reach the destination
Sure you’d give me a call if you had my number then
But I don’t know what you’d say
So let’s just keep it that way
Your Internet Sucks, B.E.R.
There’s a girl in me that misses us
But I hope that she gets hit by a bus
And wakes up in bed with amnesia
Please just let me get this off my chest
I don’t think that I wish you the best
In fact, I wish you the worst
I hope when you think of me it hurts
And when you order take out
I hope that it’s cold when it shows up
And if you’re drinking coffee
I hope you burn your lips on the cup
And when you’re playing Fortnite
I hope that your internet sucks
Pay To See You Smile, Andy Frasco & the U.N.
I’d pay to see you smile
I’d pay more to see you go
When You’re Gone, The Vansaders
I don’t miss you when you’re gone
Thank god I was wrong
But I ran out of time to waste
I don’t miss you when you’re gone
In a world gone wrong
No regrets ‘til the end of my days
Better Things to Do, The Shootouts
I’ve got better things to do, better things to do
A better place for me is a hundred miles from you
I’ve got better things to do, better things to do
A better love for me could be anyone but you
I’m Not Your Man, Tommy Conwell and the Young Rumblers
Seven days a week with you is more than I can handle
Seven nights of love and dirty laundry on your floor
Baby, I can see this whole thing heading into trouble
I’m out the door
One Last F.U., Lucero
(While this isn’t a romantic kiss-off, it’s a potent send-off nonetheless…)
Yes, I’ve got the tim? to spend
But I don’t want to spend it here
I always did enjoy drinking alone
So let me finish this drink
Without telling me what you think
We go our separate ways, I say so long
I ain’t gonna be here very long
One last fuck you, that’s it and I’m gone
View the rest of the Kiss Off series here.
About the author: Mild-mannered corporate executive by day, excitable Twangville denizen by night.