The return of live music also means the return of a fun part of seeing a show – hearing the amusing things that artists (and their audiences) say…
ON THE PANDEMIC
It’s great to be back in… Well, let’s face it, it’s great to be anywhere. Nick Lowe
It’s really nice to be back on the road. It’s really nice to be wearing pants. It’s really nice to see people who aren’t the Amazon delivery driver. Matt Andersen
Thanks for letting me have a job again. Joe Purdy
I don’t know how some things work. Robyn Hitchcock, having some technical difficulties while performing with his wife Emma Swift
I know sweetie, I lived with you in a pandemic. Swift’s response
ON REQUESTS
There’s a fine line between requests and karaoke. Butch Walker
Sometimes someone makes a suggestion. And we ask ourselves, if we play it, will the set fall into the abyss. And if the answer is yes then we play it. Brian Ritchie of the Violent Femmes introducing “Dance Motherf*cker Dance”
If you keep hollering for “Baby Girl” I guarantee that I’m not gonna play it. I don’t walk into your job at Wendy’s and ask for a 4 day old baked potato. Will Hoge
If you play “Torch Singer” I’ll be your best friend. unsolicited shouted request for Nick Lowe
That sounds like a good deal. I lost my best friend to gambling debts. He shot a man in Reno. Lowe’s response
We’re not gonna play any requests, we’re just gonna play bullshit. What bullshit should we play? Jody Porter of Fountains of Wayne
I’m taking it all in, putting it in a blender, and ignoring it. Grant-Lee Phillips on audience requests (he was kidding)
They’re called requests and not demands so sometimes I don’t play them. Butch Walker
I’m gonna do some songs that no one ever asks for. Robbie Fulks
ON SHOWS AND TOURING
When I go to a show and someone says “sing along”, I say “fuck you, I paid to get in. You do it”. Cory Branan
When we play in front of children I like to say it’s about donuts, but when we play at wineries I say it’s about sex. Sarah Borges before playing NRBQ’s “It Comes to Me Naturally”
…Except for this one, which I pulled out of my ass. Perhaps this was the wrong time to tell that story. Kay Hanley after explaining the personal nature of the songs on her album “Cherry Marmalade” and then looking to see what song was next on the set list
Is everyone cool with… Well, it doesn’t really matter because I’m gonna play it anyway. Eleanor Buckland playing Blaze Foley’s “Clay Pigeons ” song
This song is for my mother. Because she asked me to write something hopeful for once. David Ramirez introducing his song “Find the Light”
This is gonna be my last song. If you’ve been enjoying yourself, my condolences. If you haven’t, then congratulations. Kirby Brown
I will be selling merch on the street, knock off Gucci style. Andrew Duhon (he wasn’t kidding – the merch table was in the street outside the club)
I have nothing to sell you but my soul. Grant-Lee Phillips on not bringing merch to the gig
This is the most polite crowd I’ve seen in my life. Everyone came here alone and has no one to talk to. David Ramirez
Had I known that no one would be listening, I wouldn’t have bothered. Natalie Merchant, playing a corporate gig with an, um, talkative audience
This is the sad old bastard part of the set, which in Brooklyn you know very well. David Le’aupepe of Gang of Youths
We’re gonna play a quiet one for you now. That’s the very polite Southern way of saying “shut the fuck up”. Will Hoge
Y’all know this one? Prove it. Sir Woman in response to the audience singing along to every song – they did
I’m not sure who’s idea velvet suits in July was. It might be time to reevaluate that choice. Anthony D’Amato of Fantastic Cat, who all wore said suits at their July album release show
Elvis has a more leisurely work ethic. Nick Lowe on playing an off night while opening for the Elvis Costello tour
We been on the road longer than asphalt, brother. Bassist Myles Weeks, to Andrew Duhon
All my buddies ask me where to play in Memphis, I say either Little Rock or Nashville. Cory Branan
ON ALBUMS, SONGS AND SONGWRITING
I didn’t know you could derail someone with humor and then slip that knife between their ribs. Cory Branan on the first time he heard John Prine’s “Mexican Home”
I think I’m gonna record this song. I’ll mention Jimmy in the liner notes but no one reads that shit so they’ll think it’s my song. Andrew Duhon introducing the Jimmy Louis song “Bayou LaBatre”
This is like my “Born to Run”. Except Bruce is optimistic. Cory Branan introducing his song Survivor Blues (whose chorus is “What didn’t kill you will make you wish you died…”)
There’s this other guy that I really like who does it really well. Craig Finn on why he hasn’t written songs about NJ
This is a song I wrote a few years ago about a friend whose girlfriend no one likes. And just in case you’re wondering who it is, it’s probably you. Matt Andersen introducing his song “I Play the Fool”
We’re going back and Taylor Swift-ing this shit. Cody Canada on re-recording an old album for which he doesn’t control the rights to the masters.
Adele did have an influence on that record. It was released last October but the vinyl didn’t come out until April. Her and that little bastard Sheeran. Billy Bragg talking about his new album
We’re about to finish another new record. And you may ask why we still make records. We do. Mike Gent of the Figgs
I got a whole other record in the chute. So if you don’t like this one, stay tuned. Andrew Duhon
When you turn 50 and you’re in a rock and roll band, you ask “how do I make it sound more elegant.” Craig Finn on why he added strings to his new album
On to happier subjects. This is a song about a weekend that I spent freebasing with a cab driver in Boulder. It’s not a joke, folks. Michael McDermott introducing his song “Knocked Down”
MISCELLANY
I wear a St. Anthony pendant around my neck. He’s the saint of lost things. And he’s done shit for me lately. S.G Goodman
I get up in the morning, brush my teeth, and Google myself to see if I’ve said anything stupid over night. Billy Bragg
We got together four years ago and figured out how we could split the pay four ways. Brian Dunne of Fantastic Cat, a collaboration between four singer-songwriters
She’s gonna be there after everything is gone. Keith, Cher, and the cockroaches. Robyn Hitchcock on Cher
If you can’t make it here, don’t leave. Alex McMurray on living in New Orleans
My son doesn’t enjoy music. He especially doesn’t appreciate me. Which is good. Because if he picked up a guitar, I’d break his hands. Well, I’d sprain them. Alex McMurray
If you make mistakes, just keep doing ’em. Sam Morrow
THE PHILOSOPHY OF MUSIC
Empathy is the currency of music. Billy Bragg
Music is the soundtrack to your memories. Jon Latham
Music can’t change the world, and trust me, I’ve tried. Billy Bragg
Enjoy more entertaining moments from previous years and select music festivals here.
About the author: Mild-mannered corporate executive by day, excitable Twangville denizen by night.