One of my favorite things about seeing live shows (well, after the music) are the crazy comments that you hear along the way. Here are a few choice selections from summer/fall 2018.
If this is your first time seeing me, you’ll realize that I’m an acquired taste. This next song here should weed you out. Ray Wylie Hubbard.
If you enjoyed tonight’s show, we are Metalachi. If you didn’t, we are Nickleback. Vega De La Rockha of Metalachi
I wrote a lot of love songs when I was 20. They’re all about the same chick. Then I wrote a lot of hateful songs. Jack Ingram
These lyrics are so sad they would make Morrissey cry. He’d cry and then eat a brisket. Sean Russell from Cut Throat Finches
Sad bastard music. I think that should be genre. Radical Face
I don’t think they’re all sad, some of them are hopeless. Charlie Sexton quoting Townes Van Zandt describing the Townes song catalog
You guys like Townes Van Zandt? Good, I’m gonna do a Guy Clark song. Kirby Brown
The new album is called Pile Driver because that’s pretty much what I do. I put a pile of stuff in my car and I drive it around. The Suitcase Junket
My grandmother came to see me last year. She said everyone is saying Ryan “Fucking” Bingham, I never thought that would be a term of endearment. Ryan Bingham
Do you know why it’s hard to tell the truth in song? Because it doesn’t rhyme. Charlie Sexton
That’s a lot of slow and sad ones. How about a fast and sad one. Joshua Ray Walker introducing his song “Don’t Cry”
This is a song about living in a shit hole apartment and moving to a nice apartment. One day I hope that happens. Adam Reed of Michigan Rattlers introducing “I Remember”
I don’t play any happy songs. So if you were hoping for a happy Friday night, fuck you. Radical Face
What’s your favorite place to play? Anywhere that people give a fuck. Jack Ingram
It’s basically like I take all my shit and bring it to your house. Sean Rowe on house concerts
Stay in the back seat and let me drive the fucking car. BJ Barham responding to shouted requests
If it makes you feel any better, I’m gonna play it tomorrow and you won’t be there. Will Hoge to a woman who complained to him that he skipped a song on the printed set list she grabbed off the stage after the show.
Play what you want. Audience member to Jackson Browne after Browne asked for requests.
Truth is, it’s easier to do what you tell me to do. Browne’s response
There has to be some order here. Certain songs have to be done in order. We could do “Running on Empty” but then we’d have to leave. Jackson Browne, several songs later
This is what U2 would look like if they never made it. Kevn Kinney of Drivin ‘N’ Cryin
I hope God grades on a curve. Ray Wylie Hubbard
I hate slap bass with a passion. Except for Seinfeld. Rebecca Lovell of Larkin Poe
We didn’t have social media. You had to go find your friends. Travis Meadows
I’ll play you a song from my old band. So you’ll know you’re at the right show. Colin Hay, formerly of Men at Work
We got a lot of people mad who don’t know what the fuck they’re mad about. Buddy Guy, commenting on the current political environment
I played a rodeo last night and they all danced in a circle. And not a single one of ’em was on their phone. Jack Ingram
I played a tiki bar in San Antonio on Super Bowl Sunday. Do you know how many people were there? Not many. Tyler Childers
You get more attention burning down the barn than taking out the trash. Ray Wylie Hubbard
There was a couple of times that it gave me too much courage. I got an ass whoopin’. Don Henley on tequila
This isn’t a show, this is “mommy time”. Tift Merritt on touring with a one year old – said after a sip of tequila
Me taking credit for my baby girl is like me throwing sugar in the kitchen and bragging how good the cake is. BJ Barham
Everybody tip Nicky cause we’re not going to. Just kidding. She makes more money than we do. K Phillips after the waitress asked if the band wanted drinks.
We’re musicians so we have to come up with other ways to make money. Tift Merritt
Just so you know, it’s dissonant. So if we play a wrong note you won’t know it. Jackson Browne introducing his cover of Randy Newman’s “A Piece of the Pie” with its lyric “No one gives a shit but Jackson Browne. ”
We’re gonna go back to 1975. There was a lot going on. I remember some of it. Don Henley
Looks great but probably the last thing you’ll see. Joe Walsh on lasers at his show
I got a letter the other day. Dear Mr. Kinney, you’re pre-approved. I wrote back because I didn’t want to be rude. Dear Bank of America, fuck you. Kevn Kinney of Drivin ‘N’ Cryin
I need you Silas. audience member to Silas Nello
To whoever said that, I don’t think that you do. Just ask my wife. Nello’s response
I wrote this the day after I proposed to my wife. It could have gone 1 of 2 ways. Thankfully it’s not a bummer jam. Caleb Caudle
Will you be putting any happy songs about our relationship on it? Will Hoge’s wife to him when he was starting to record a new album
About the author: Mild-mannered corporate executive by day, excitable Twangville denizen by night.