One of my favorite things about attending music conferences and festivals are the crazy comments that you hear along the way. Here are a few choice selections from this year’s Americana Festival.
Your career has come full circle. Interviewer
Yes, back to obscurity. Robbie Fulks
I could have kept going, but that would have been the professional thing to do. Buddy Miller stopping a song when he forgot a lyric
You’re asking the wrong girl. Lee Ann Womack’s response when Miller asked her if she knew the forgotten lyric
You saw so many professionals today. I’m gonna give you a break from that. Shannon McNally
If you wanted a pro, put me on at 9. Brian Wright, after he forgot to plug in his guitar during his midnight showcase
Jesus doesn’t like this song in the key of B, he prefers it in the key of A. As in almighty. Will Hoge after he started his song “Jesus Came to Tennessee” in the wrong key
We’d like to do a song that we’ve only done a couple of times shit house drunk in a casino. It’s a gospel song. Joe Purdy
Just so we’re very clear, when the tequila runs out don’t start drinking champagne. Taylor Goldsmith after playing “When the Tequila Runs Out”
Water every 3rd drink. It’s worked for me. So far. Eric Ambel
Don’t lose hope, I was once just like you. Random guy to me as I waited in a long line for Hattie B’s hot chicken at a day party – he had a full plate of food
It’s in tune. Don’t do that. Shannon McNally recalling the time Bob Dylan gave her his guitar and asked her to play him a song
I’d like to thank my wife Amanda Shires. She was standing next to me and then George Strait walked in and I lost her. Jason Isbell accepting his Americana Award and describing the scene backstage
I thought it would be appropriate to invite my bitch-ass cousin to participate. Brent Cobb quoting his cousin Dave Cobb when Dave asked him to contribute a song to the Southern Family album
I wouldn’t go see a show on Wednesday at midnight so thanks for not being me. BJ Barham to the crowd at his Wednesday midnight showcase
So my wife said I’ve written too many drinking songs. So I wrote one more. Jason Eady
I wrote this song in detention. 15 year old singer-songwriter Sammy Brue
I’m doing this for you all. Because I love you and none of you have been drinking corn liquor all day. Shannon McNally tuning her guitar
Step on whatever makes it sound good. Buddy Miller about his guitar pedals
I’m the guy who would tune forever at open mic night and everyone would think it was a grateful dead song. Jason Isbell, who apparently stole the joke from his wife
One time for the dancing children. Somewhere along the way we lose it. Don’t be that guy. Matthew Page of the Blackfoot Gypsies acknowledging three young kids rocking out in front of the stage
I’ve got a new album out. [1 person claps.] Thanks to the one person who bought it. BJ Barham
It’s funny when you start clapping and no one joins in. You’ve got a decision to make. Colin Hay
Play good but don’t play better than me. One guitarist talking to another
This is what happens when there’s alcohol in the dressing room. Buddy Miller waiting on his bassist to return to the stage so the band could play the next song
What’s the first song? Drummer
I don’t know. Singer
That’s a good one. Drummer
Robbie’s gonna join me on this one. He’s never heard it. Liam Gerner guy inviting Robbie Fulks to join him for a song
Feel free to play on it, Liam. Try to play better than I played on your song. Fulks inviting Gerner to join him for a song a few minutes later
All the men may want to leave. Kasey Chambers introducing her defiant song “I Ain’t No Little Girl”
This song is about rainbows and puppies. But the rainbows fell on the puppies so they’re dead. Cory Branan
One of the things they tell you as a songwriter is to write what you know. So I made this one up. Aaron Lee Tasjan introducing his song “Success”
There are certain milestones… this song got me my first hate mail. My apologies to any Klan members here but fuck y’all. Will Hoge introducing his song “Still a Southern Man”
I’ve always wanted to reach out to people after a few years and say, “how’d that song work out for you?” Colin Hay about people who have used his song “I’m Waiting on my Real Life to Begin” at their weddings
If it’s a Roscoe gig, we’re gonna play songs that the band doesn’t know. Eric Ambel
I’ll take a little more guitar in my monitor and, I hate to say this, but a little less of my band mates in my monitor. Shannon McNally
I once played a gig with Screaming Jay Hawkins, and his instruction to the band was “as long as we starts together and finishes together.” Eric Ambel
I almost got good enough to have a guitar tech. Jack Ingram
No one wants to hear a happy-go-lucky songwriter. Kasey Chambers
I don’t sing like Lydia, I don’t look like Lydia, but I make up for it with volume. Cory Branan, who followed Lydia Loveless at a day party
About the author: Mild-mannered corporate executive by day, excitable Twangville denizen by night.