One of my favorite things about seeing live shows (well, after the music) are the crazy comments that you hear along the way. Here are a few choice selections from the summer of 2015.
Are we keeping you up? You’re yawning. You probably picked the wrong fucking table. Thomas Walsh of Pugwash to someone sitting at a table in front of the stage
This next song is for you it’s called “Keep Staying Awake.” No, it’s called “Keep Moving On.” Thomas Walsh of Pugwash a few minutes later
What’s awesome about New Orleans is that they mosaic the street name into the sidewalk because they know what state you’re in when you’re walking home. Matt Lorenz, aka The Suitcase Junket
Do you want to hear a sad song or a really sad song? We have both kinds. Scott Thompson of INFJ
I didn’t say I’d play it, I said I heard you. Will Hoge responding to a fan request. He played it 20 minutes later.
I have four songs that start this way. I hope it’s the one that you like. Hayes Carll responding to a crowd cheer as he began to play a song
We got a request to do this song. We’re gonna do it anyway. Eilen Jewell introducing “Blue Highway”
I sometimes ask, “what do you want a rocker or a ballad.” The balled people never scream. Matt Lorenz, aka The Suitcase Junket
Nothing makes me happier than seeing a big tough guy singing “Pretty Enough.” Don’t worry, you’re pretty enough. Kasey Chambers to a guy standing and singing in front of the stage.
I’m gonna play a waltz. Does anyone know how to waltz? Well I haven’t seen anything else stop you from dancing. JP Harris, to the crowd at the Tweed River Music Festival
We’ve got cassette tapes because it may be 2015, but it’s 1991 in our hearts. Scott Thompson of INFJ pitching the band’s merch.
While we would never judge ourselves by our success at the merch table, it’s a barometer of what’s for dinner tomorrow night. Chris Masterson
You should invest in a copy for your own musical enjoyment and my children’s college education. Will Hoge
We haven’t played here in a while and I can’t honestly say why. Someone’s getting fired. Raul Malo, on playing the outdoor amphitheater at the North Carolina Museum of Art.
This is our favorite closet. Tyler-James Kelly of the Silks on playing the intimate Boston bar Bull McCabes
It’s not a bad place to play music, it turns out. James Taylor on playing Fenway Park
When I was a little boy all I really wanted to do was drop out of school and live in my van. Christopher Paul Stelling on becoming a musician
You wanna be in show business? See that amp over there? Put it in the van. Now you’re in show business. Hayes Carll on meeting Ray Wylie Hubbard
You’ve got the Rolling Stones and the Ramones and that’s essentially Social Distortion. Wait, you’ve got one more in there, Mr Hank Williams. Mike Ness
These are songs that I wrote unless otherwise specified in small print. JP Harris
I wish I could tell you that there was a correlation between the quality of the girl and the quality of the song. Steve Earle on writing songs about the women in his life
This song is about everybody’s favorite psychopath – cupid. Eilen Jewell introducing her song “Bang Bang Bang”
We played “Footloose,” they played “I Melt With You,” (which was) clearly a better choice. Dave Grohl on playing in his high school battle of the bands
I try not to say the F word in front of K-I-D-S but sometimes I do. Matt Lorenz, aka The Suitcase Junket
What’s funny is that some of the things that people call me are alright with me. Steve Earle.
My grandparents came up with the title for it. They’re 85 & 88. If that isn’t enough to buy the record, I don’t know what is. Dietrich Strause about his album Little Stones to Break the Giant’s Heart.
About the author: Mild-mannered corporate executive by day, excitable Twangville denizen by night.