One of my favorite things about seeing live shows (well, after the music) are the crazy comments that you hear along the way. Here are a few choice selections from Winter and Spring 2015.
This song is the single. Because it sold one copy. Pugwash singer Thomas Walsh
When you actually sing it, the song doesn’t feel appropriate. Ryan Adams after playing Glenn Danzig’s “Mother” on Mother’s Day
Ted, I don’t know if you noticed but I stopped playing. Aimee Mann to Ted Leo after she flubbed a song intro
My mistakes are unacceptable. Yours are adorable. Aimee Mann, to Ted Leo
I’m gonna play some songs from my new album because, let’s face it, if it’s not why you’re here, it’s certainly why I’m fucking here. Noel Gallagher at the Shaky Knees Festival
The punk rock police said ‘You’re going to record a Johnny Cash song?’ Yea mother fucker, I’m gonna record a Johnny Cash song. Right after I choke the living shit out of you. Social Distortion’s Mike Ness
Barry Gibb bought his house and within a year it burnt down. Johnny was like, hell no. Mike Farris, describing Gibb’s purchase of Johnny Cash’s Tennessee home
Cool if you talk, but please just talk about how cool I look. Joe Pug to people talking incessantly at the front of the stage
When I scold you for talking you can’t make a request. Joe Pug, a few minutes later
That’s as far as I got with the set list for tonight so it’s a free for all from here on out. Joe Fletcher
I cheer for all the local teams wherever I am. They’re never as good as they used to be. Archie Powell
Who wants to win free stuff? (pause) Let me ask you another question, why was that the biggest applause of the night. Christopher Porterfield of the Field Report
There is one person who will hear this song and realize that it’s a big “fuck you.” Daphne Lee Martin
This is a love song to disguise the fact that I am hungover. Mariachi el Bronx singer Matt Caughthran
This is an old Richard Thompson song. (Cheer from audience) But not as good, so don’t get your hopes up. Lyal Strickland
How’s the vocal, guitar, PBR mix? Love Love’s Jefferson Davis Riordan to the audience
I would say it’s great to be here but it’s cold as shit here. Mike Farris, on visiting Boston during the midst of Snowmageddon 2015
I’ve known Christopher since he was 2. I didn’t know he was gonna be a bartender or I would have been nicer to him. Session Americana’s Dinty Child while reminding folks to tip the bartender
Dallas and I have a fight going on. They just don’t know it. Lyal Strickland on touring
I was so offended. I can barely afford an apartment in Brooklyn and this guy was bored with his castle. Christopher Paul Stelling recounting a European tour experience
The best place to stand is by the bar. Ticket taker at venue where Barnstar! were about to play. Duh.
I’d like to take a moment to introduce the band. On the left heel you’ve got the cook pot… One-man band the Suitcase Junket introducing his home-made instruments
She only married me for the potential. Willie Mason introducing his wife
About the author: Mild-mannered corporate executive by day, excitable Twangville denizen by night.