One of my favorite parts of SXSW is the crazy things you see and hear along the way. Here are a few choice selections.
This song is called “I’ll Tell You How It’s Gonna Be.” It’s about you not telling me what to do. Best Coast singer Bethany Cosentino responding to an annoying fan who was repeatedly calling out requests
We got one more. Dylan Gardner
Play more. Guy in crowd
This song is called “You Should Have Gotten Here Sooner.” Gardner, in response
What would you like to hear? One at a time. Britt Daniel of Spoon soliciting requests
Less talk more rock? You’re like just fucking do it. March Divide singer Jared Putnam
Unless you were born under a rock you will know this song. Frank Turner introducing his cover of Queen’s “Somebody to Love”
I’m here to tell you if you listen to Ted Nugent, listen to the early shit. Aaron Lee Tasjan
I may seem like a fucking pussy but I had a lot of Slayer records. Butch Walker, playing a relatively mellow solo set
I seem to be writing a lot of slow songs about old folk. I don’t know how that would happen to a young buck like me. James McMurtry
Does anyone really bank here? Best Coast singer Bethany Cosentino referring to the Capital One branch in which they were playing. It was magically transformed back into a bank the next day.
My old band played here back in 1995. We had eighteen songs in the quiver and played 17 of them. This one stuck. Clyne introducing his former band the Refreshments classic song “Banditos”
We’ve only played that song once before and it was three hours ago. Jeff Klein of My Jerusalem
Give it up for this guy. This one goes out to the guy who bought me a shot. March Divide singer Jared Putnam dedicated his song “Jose Cuervo” to me. I bought him a shot.
Thank you guys. Got myself a beer. Death By Unga Bunga lead singer who ran to the bar in the back of the room during the guitar solo
I’ve got a bunch of moonshine in my house that people have given me. I don’t drink it. Do you know who makes good moonshine? Jameson. Kevn Kinney
Raise your hand if you’re drunk. We need to see more hands. Jeff Klein of My Jerusalem
How many of you don’t know the band and are here by accident. Singer for band whose name I can’t remember.
It’s ok if you hate me cause I’m almost done. March Divide singer Jared Putnam
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program. Kevn Kinney, referring to the nearby rock band that started playing loudly midway through his last song
I know you could have had your fill of any DJ tonite. Butch Walker, acknowledging the crowd who chose to join him at his late-night showcase
What a nice stage. I’m used to playing Applebees at SXSW. Dylan Gardner playing a proper stage at Cedar Street Courtyard
Give us the Wu Tang sign when you’re ready. (pause) That’s not the Wu Tang sign sir. (pause) Ok. Stone Foxes singer asking the humorless sound guy if he was ready to start the show
I promised myself that I wasn’t gonna come to SXSW this year but it’s for Doug and I got to. Steve Earle on his one SXSW gig, a Doug Sahm tribute show
Who’s playing tonight? Well, shit, I can read. Guy who belatedly noticed the show poster on the wall next to the doorman
Bloodshot will be the death of me. Overheard at the Bloodshot party in the rain. It was a term of endearment
We got great music all day. We don’t need sun. Josh Buckley kicking off his set as the rain fell for the second straight day
This show almost got cancelled because of the rain. Weather is not my road manager. Dylan Gardner
I can’t leave a Sox fan standing in the rain. Door guy acknowledging my Red Sox hat and letting me into a capacity club.
I don’t feel much like talking tonight. Usually I don’t shut the fuck up. Whitey Morgan mid-way through his 1am set
Raise your hand if you slept in a bed last night. I didn’t. Archie Powell
You wanna be punk rock? Survive mother fucker. Jon Dee Graham
This coat is so cool you can fuck the coat, you don’t have to fuck me. Mojo Nixon
About the author: Mild-mannered corporate executive by day, excitable Twangville denizen by night.