One of my favorite things about attending music conferences and festivals are the crazy comments that you hear along the way. Here are a few choice selections from this year’s Folk Alliance Conference.
Playing for other musicians is not always the greatest experience. ‘I would have done that differently.’ Dan Bern
No fucking songs about the kid. Every time I was about to write a song about him he shit his pants and I had to change his diaper. Milk Carton Kid Joey Ryan on life with his newborn son.
I decided to work with a record label because I was tired of playing to nobody. God I hope it works. Christopher Paul Stelling on his new record deal
I gotta check this out. Unnamed musician when, seeing him in the hotel lobby at 7:05pm, I asked if his 7pm showcase had been cancelled. It hadn’t.
She’s just trying to get your goat. Guy #1
I gotta protect my goat. Guy #2
I got a letter on the mail the other day. It said that I was pre-approved. I wrote them back. Dear Visa, I doubt it. Kevn Kinney
This is our first time at Folk Alliance. (Luke warm audience reaction) Thank you for the warm reception. The Contenders drummer Josh Day
I got to do my first FCC edit. Apparently you can’t say “piss” but you can say “G-D.” Ryan Culwell
I got out of high school in three years. Not because I was smart but because they wanted me out. Rod Picott
Someone wanted to hear ‘Charlie.’ Let’s skip that one. Anybody have one that we want to play? Milk Carton Kids
Kevin, can you explain this song? Session Americana to guest Kevin Gordon before they played Gordon’s song “Deuce and a Quarter”
No, I can’t. Gordon’s response
We’d hate if the first version of the new songs was your shitty iPhone version. The Milk Carton Kids asking the audience not to take videos while they played a couple of songs from their forthcoming new album
I ain’t a hipster, I just can’t afford to shave. Matt the Electrician
Tiger Woods had to take some time off because his glutes didn’t activate. So I wrote this little song. Dan Bern
Here’s a song about snow. Write what you know. New England-based musician Mark Erelli
We’ve got time for three more. Or one with some conversation. Milk Carton Kid Joey Ryan
I wanna do this one ’cause I fucked it up in my last set. Rod Picott
About the author: Mild-mannered corporate executive by day, excitable Twangville denizen by night.