“I’m not officially open but I don’t want to deny a man his beer. That’s just treason.” ~ a bartender who earned my eternal gratitude
“This song goes out to what’s her name wherever she is.” ~ Steve Earle, introducing his song “Now She’s Gone”
“Same girl, different harmonica..” ~ Steve Earle, introducing his next song “I Can’t Remember If We Said Goodbye”
“If I were in tune, this would be a great set.” – Johnette Napolitano
“It doesn’t matter if you’ve got a college degree and are an astronaut. White trash is white trash.” ~ Barfield, talking about Lisa Nowak, the astronaut arrested for an attempted kidnapping.
Guy #1: “Did you come down here to listen to music?”
Guy #2: “No, I just came down to get drunk in a different city.”
“We are playing two more show tonight and unlike my more professional friends I have no idea where they are.” ~ Tim Rogers of You Am I
Woman in crowd: “I love you Joe Purdy.”
Joe Purdy, without missing a beat: “I thought I told you to wait in the truck.”
“This is the tiny voice of reason struggling under the [onslaught] of rock.” ~ Robyn Hitchcock doing an acoustic set a few hundred feet from a Drams performance.
Guy in crowd: “Play one more!”
Joe Purdy: “I’ve heard that one before, right after play the good one.”
“We’re the Band of Heathens for those of you who just got here… And for those of you who just forgot.” ~ guitarist from the Band of Heathens
Bartender: “What kind of bourbon do you want?”
Patron: “Whatever’s on special.”
Bartender: “Honey, they’re all special to me.”
“Why don’t you teach these people how to create chaos from beauty.” ~ You Am I’s Tim Rogers to the band’s drummer, Russell Hopkinson
“Over the last few years people have said ‘why do you write so many political songs?’ What part of Copperhead Road do you think is not political?” ~ Steve Earle
“Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.” ~ A sign on a bathroom wall.
“You know you’ve been touring too much when you’ve got a favorite Motel 6 in every town.” ~ Jon Dee Graham
Sound guy: “You’ve got one more guys.”
Leeroy Stagger: “Perfect, that’s all we know.”
“I’m not listening to you sir. You are audience, I am rock icon. (Pause) I guess we’re kicked off another label.” ~ Tim Rogers of You Am I (and yes, he is a rock icon)
“I usually say a lot of witty things but we don’t have a lot of time so I’d rather let my music do the talking.” ~ John Doe
“We’re a band with our priorities straight, he’s talking about the murder of innocents and you’re talking about your hair.” ~ Jude of the Low Stars talking to band-mate Joe Russo (formerly the guitarist of Tonic).
Guy #1, referring to the artist who just performed: “You have a picture of you hugging her?”
Guy #2: “Actually it was me holding her up.”
“Maybe money can’t buy happiness but it can buy drugs and alcohol and that’s close enough” ~ t-shirt
“I heard Willie [Nelson] on Howard Stern. No, not Howard J Stern. What if Willie is the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby?” ~ stream of conscience from Johnette Napolitano
“Little tune-up here. It’s my gift of tuning to you.” ~ John Doe
â”1, 2, you know what to do.” ~ Steve Earle, starting a song with his wife, Allison Moorer
About the author: Mild-mannered corporate executive by day, excitable Twangville denizen by night.