One of my favorite parts of SXSW is the crazy things you see and hear along the way. Here are a few choice selections.
My son is 17. He had his heart broken for the first time. Her name was Ivy. He’s now dating a blond-hair, blue-eyed girl from UC Berkeley. Fuck you Ivy. ~ Proud father Jon Dee Graham
I’m just one beer and a fist fight from a great piece of ass. ~ Sign on a Steve Poltz road case.
Hey buddy, right there in the green shirt. If you want to have a conversation, you can go outside. I’ll completely understand. ~ Luke Doucet, stopping mid-song to chastise a guy talking loudly at the front of the stage. The band kept playing.
Steve sounds great but I sound like shit. Can you fix it or should I switch the mics? ~ former Hanoi Rocks singer Michael Monroe, referring to guitarist Steve Conte.
Fuck. ~ Evan Dando, on the passing of Alex Chilton.
With due respect to the respectable, if Hole was playing my living room, I’d walk the dog. ~ Anonymous
Shut the fuck up, metalheads. ~ Aussie acoustic singer-songwriter Paul Dempsy trying to compete with the metal band playing on an adjacent rooftop patio.
If you are grouchy, irritable or just plain mean, there will be a $10 charge for putting up with you. ~ Sign at a restaurant.
You guys are like virgins in the porn world who have risen to the top. Like Traci Lords in her 3rd movie. You knew that girl was gonna be a star. ~ Riverboat Gamblers singer Mike Wiebe referring to the band’s new rhythm section.
Alright, someone push play. ~ The guy standing next to me getting impatient while waiting for the Street Sweeper Social Club showcase to begin.
Good versus evil. Bullshit. Everything versus nothing. Those are the stakes. You’re either in the ring or you’re out of it. By the way, have a nice weekend. ~ Jon Dee Graham
Me: I’ll take a Shiner Bock.
Bartender: Tickets are only good for domestic beers.
Me: I didn’t realize that Texas had seceded from the Union. (Shiner Bock is brewed 80 miles from Austin in Shiner, Texas)
We’re here for one reason and one reason alone. It is to get drunk. And after that it’s to make you dance. ~ Lead singer from the Broken Records.
Can you play the banjo? No, but I can play with myself. ~ Overheard
We shoulda been done right there but we’ve never been known for doing what we should do. ~ Ben Nichols of Lucero. The band had just finished a rousing rocker but chose to close with a ballad.
So I said to Wayne, have you ever heard the song “Jail Guitar Doors”? And Wayne said, “yea, I’m in it.” And I felt about this tall. ~ Billy Bragg, describing his first discussion with Wayne Kramer about the origins of the organization that Bragg had founded based on the legendary Clash song. Kramer spent two years in prison on a drug conviction in the mid-1970’s.
I was recently performing with Mick Jones and I told him the story. And [Jones] said, “Is he in it?” ~ Billy Bragg, a few minutes later.
Stop the fucking clapping, this is the sensitive part! ~ Chris Shifflet during a solo acoustic performance.
We’re gonna start quietly and then we’re going to blow the roof off this place. ~ Wayne Kramer, former MC5 guitarist kicking off the Jail Guitar Doors showcase. He wasn’t kidding.
Let’s play some more stuff we didn’t play yesterday, which is hard ’cause I don’t remember what we played yesterday. ~ Ben Nichols from Lucero
I’m too fat to be a hipster. ~ T-shirt.
We’re gonna do a song about drinking. I didn’t write it about SXSW but that’s about all I’ve done here. ~ J Roddy Wolston
We are your cheap hooker for the next hour. ~ Bassist in Grace Potter’s Nocturnals.
And you don’t even have to pay us at the end of it. ~ Grace Potter, in response.
Do you have to be all cred’d up and rsvp and shit? ~ A guy talking to someone on his cellphone about getting into a showcase.
2:30 finish? Ok, he’ll go over. I know him better than that. ~ Steve Poltz’s road manager just before Poltz started an afternoon set.
I’m by the sound board. Bring beer. ~ Me
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About the author: Mild-mannered corporate executive by day, excitable Twangville denizen by night.