One of my favorite things about attending music conferences and festivals is the crazy things that you hear along the way. Here are a few choice selections.
I know that it is time to get back on the road when I run out of those little shampoos. Road Manager Phil Kaufman
I don’t get Twitter. I’ve got more to say than 140 characters. Ian McLagan
You should think about firing someone. Ian McLagan to Amy LaVere in response to her comment about the complexities of packing five musicians and a stand-up bass into a 12-foot van.
It’s a free show, but it’s 20 bucks to get out. Ian McLagan, on his weekly gig in Austin Texas
There’s no gas station in America that I haven’t peed in. Brian Henneman, speaking about life on the road
I turned into a swearing sailor, I cried and I got paid. Amy LaVere on the one time a venue manager refused to pay her after a performance.
Well I’ve been writing with this guy for 40 years. John Oates, in response to a question about “horror stories” when collaborating with another songwriter
That smells delicious. Is that beef tip? I love beef tip. The Deep Dark Woods singer Ryan Boldt talking, between songs, to a woman with take out at the front of the stage.
Because the instruments are lighter to carry. The Bottle Rockets’ Brian Henneman in response to Mojo Nixon’s question on why the band recorded an acoustic album.
I’m never going anywhere without Buddy Miller. Robert Plant while receiving an Americana Music Award for the Band Of Joy, his band that features Miller on guitar.
I’m really really not that good. But I get to play behind a lot of talented people. Buddy Miller accepting the Instrumentalist of the Year award
Did you ever think you’d be sitting in the Ryman watching Robert Plant? Jim Lauderdale after Plant and the Band of Joy performed at the Americana Music Awards.
I kept dreamin’ of American music. I stole a great deal with my old companions. Robert Plant
The bluegrass guys were ‘don’t ever go to Nashville, it’s a poison town.’ So I went to Nashville and it was a poison town. Jerry Douglas
When I was 13 or 14, my father gave me a job working in the bars. Yea, the bars. Jerry Douglas
We’re sweatin’ up here like Rush Limbaugh at a Steve Earle concert. Jim Lauderdale, while performing with Buddy Miller.
Be nice to the nice officer even if he’s not nice to you. James McMurtry
I’ve just been informed that this is a 45 minute set, not an hour. That means that I should get right to the hits. James McMurtry
Here’s one of those sensitive love ballads that we’re famous for. James McMurtry
Here’s a song. It’s about things. The Deep Dark Woods singer Ryan Boldt introducing the band’s next song. He was right.
That’s the automatic tip machine. Musician Eileen Rose pointing to a nearby ATM
People really wanted to hear a full band and we finally got the message. Gary Louris, on the Jayhawks reunion.
I don’t want to think about what to wear every night. I just want to wear a suit. John Paul White, on his performance wardrobe
I never wanted to sing with anyone before but I met this guy. Joy Williams of the Civil Wars
Exactly what a husband wants to hear. John Paul White, her performing partner, in response. Williams husband was also sitting on the panel.
The solution to digital piracy is bringing back vinyl. Neil Portnow, President of the National Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences
This is the point in the show where I break out the accordion to certify my Americana credentials. Hayes Carll
We’ll do this one song in 12 different languages. This is English. Hayes Carll, introducing his next song
If you don’t like rockabilly, you’re in the wrong bar. Foster and Lloyd
I don’t know why I have to sing after Mike Farris. He put a hurt on me. Jimmy Hall following Farris at the Muscle Shoals tribute show. Farris did.
About the author: Mild-mannered corporate executive by day, excitable Twangville denizen by night.