One of my favorite things about attending music conferences and festivals are the crazy comments that you hear along the way. Here are a few choice selections from this year’s Folk Alliance Conference.
It’s no fun listening to someone tune a banjo, but it’s even less fun listening to an out of tune one. Parsonsfield
This is why I play the piano. Kenny White while attempting to tune his guitar
Sorry to leave it on a sad note but that’s why we listen to folk music. Micah Schnabel
How are y’all feeling? I’m glad you’re not asking me. Clayton Chaney of the Show Ponies, beer in hand, during their 3:10am set
We’re deep into the Folk Alliance and, to be honest, you all look terrible. Henry Wagons
You gotta be resourceful on the road. member of Lindsay Lou and the Flatbellys as he opened a beer bottle with a water bottle cap
If you need something sweet, grab a cookie. If you need something good and salty, grab a cd. Adam Lee, referring to the girl scout cookies and his latest cd, both sitting on a table during his performance
We have about 27 more shows this afternoon. In between, if you order room service, we’ll be delivering it. Lee Harvey Osmond reflecting on how artists try to maximize their exposure at the conference
Anything anyone wants to hear? No? Fair enough. Micah Schnabel
Wait, don’t go. We’ll get better, I promise. Lee Harvey Osmond, as a group of people continued their showcase hopping
Basically you’re a truck driver and a t-shirt salesman and every night you get to play some songs. Glen Phillips on life as a touring musician
This song is about finding a good woman – one who won’t fall apart on the witness stand. David Olney
If you get the chance to go, don’t. Robbie Fulks on attending high school reunions after recently attending his
If there’s any way they could turn the lights down, that’d be great. As my friend Cheryl (Wheeler) says, “If they came for the visuals, they’re bound to be disappointed.” Kenny White
This is actually our sexy moment. Everybody close your eyes and it will be sexier. Lee Harvey Osmond
How amazing that someone has a pick. Beaver Nelson asking to borrow a guitar pick in a room full of musicians
I couldn’t do it without you and, believe me, I’ve tried. Mike Stinson
Love is like 1 part lightning, 2 parts making up your mind. Kenny White
This is from my first record, back in the 1920s. Robbie Fulks
It’s an autobiography that tracks my journey from young stupid Henry to old stupid Henry. Henry Wagons describing his new album
Do you all want like stories and shit? Beaver Nelson as he powered through a set of all new songs with limited between-song banter.
This guy was talking to crows. How high were they? Steve Poltz after playing the Grateful Dead’s “Uncle John’s Band”
I only have one good song, I just can’t remember what it is. Mike Stinson
What douche bag put a harp in the lift? Overheard in the elevator. Yes, there was a harp in the elevator.
I wrote it for my nephew as a Christmas present. It’s about my ex-brother-in-law. It’s called “Kill Someone.” Bobby Long
About the author: Mild-mannered corporate executive by day, excitable Twangville denizen by night.