One of my favorite things about seeing live shows (well, after the music) are the crazy comments that you hear along the way. Here are a few choice selections from the winter of 2015-2016.
You can live on pie and whiskey but you won’t live very long. Vance Gilbert.
I went to the school of hard knocks. Admission is free but you’re lucky to get out alive. Austin Lucas
It’s fascinating to think that every decision you’ve ever made is who you are now. Glen Hansard
Who’s got a shit job? I want to collect money from the rest of you. Ike Reilly
Football. It’s all about pain. Kind of like my music. Syd Straw, noticing a tv in the corner of the room showing an NFL game
I’ve heard it every single time. Trews guitarist responding to an audience member saying that she’d heard one of their songs a lot.
Steve Poltz is like Todd Snider if Todd didn’t smoke so much pot. Anonymous. (OK, it might have been me.)
This song has been recorded several times since I wrote it, most recently by my friend Todd Snider and his band Hard Working Americans. Pretty ironic band name for those guys. Kevin Gordon
I want you to know that I’m wearing pants underneath this, otherwise the tickets would have been more expensive. Sarah Borges
You know I talk shit for a living. This is the best job. Nikki Lane
Do I sound better without my glasses? Cause you look better. Syd Straw
I’m gonna set it to music and make you famous. Ike Reilly, on adding music to one of his father’s poems
You can’t even make yourself famous. His father’s response
I drive a hybrid. It’s part car, part dumpster. Grant Lee Phillips on carting around his merchandise
That’s a good idea but we’re not gonna play it. Jeffrey Foucault responding to a audience request
This was not the question and answer period. Patrick Sweany responding to multiple requests
That wasn’t one of the options, fucker. David Ramirez who was, you guessed it, responding to a shouted request
All of your other songs. Audience member response to Lake St Dive call for requests
Whenever you guys think you got your money’s worth, just let us know and we’ll quit. Christopher Paul Stelling
I hope you like sad songs because you’re gonna get 9 in a row. Scott Thompson of INFJ
This is the greatest show I ever played. Screw every other show. Pittsburgh on Tuesday is gonna suck. Steve Poltz
I just want to hear what they’re saying. Ike Reilly momentarily stopping a song due to incessant talkers in the crowd.
That’s not fucking loud enough. Syd Straw asking for more volume in her guitar
She came all the way down here to swear at us. Response from guitarist Michael Barry, who invited Straw to travel to Boston from her home in Vermont to play with his band that night
The people in the back aren’t joining in. Don’t be the people that don’t join in. Frank Turner
Can we get the lights down? Make it spooky. Make it rare books section spooky. Josh Ritter
This one is called. Wait, what is this one called? Dave Minnehan playing a one-off reunion show with his old band Star Darts.
2 shows every 21 years is pretty good. Dave Gibbs of the Gigolo Aunts playing a rare reunion show
You should have been there in Cleveland when we played for no people. Twice. Craig Finn referring to people who cheer when he mentions his old band Lifter Puller
Nobody came to my show. And by nobody, I mean nobody. Christopher Paul Stelling on playing a show early on his career
We’re gonna play a great show and you’re all gonna go home and write great reviews on yelp. Car Seat Headrest
I’m new at this. Well, not really, but I’m a slow learner. 20+ year music veteran Craig Finn
We want to thank Jesus for letting us find the parking space right in front. Brian Henneman of the Bottle Rockets
You know what people say about my music? They say that it’s real. And by that they mean that it’s out of tune and somewhat disorganized. Christopher Paul Stelling
I made so many bad decisions in this bar. It’s so great to be here. Tyler-James Kelly of the Silks.
You put a beat to tragedy and you’ve got a hit. Grant Lee Phillips
They’re not all sad, some of them are angry. Susan Cattaneo referencing the songs on her last album
Same girl, different song. Colin MacDonald of the Trews introducing their song “So She’s Leaving”
We’re gonna take a break after this one and then something very special is going to happen. Dinty Child of Session Americana
Yeah, we’re gonna come back for a second set. His bandmate Ry Cavanaugh
It should only take you a second to figure out why I call my band the accents. Christopher Paul Stelling on playing with an Australian fiddle player and a Boston bass player
You’re talking a lot. Alastair Moock’s daughter when her father was taking awhile to introduce the next song. She was the inspiration for his Grammy-nominated children’s album.
About the author: Mild-mannered corporate executive by day, excitable Twangville denizen by night.